A part of us may want life to be perfect and stress-free and without challenges.
But can you imagine how boring it would be if everything was perfect all the time?
How would we appreciate the quiet, if we didn’t have some noise and distraction?
Until we’ve been afraiad, how can we know what it feels like to be supported?
Without a little chaos, how can we know peace?
We are continually being called to return center so we can bend with life’s events, instead of break, so we may grow ourselves—into that who we are made to be, into something more.
It’s coming back to center, over and over again.
This piece on becoming centered is the last in our series about Peaceful Mama at every stage, which included Peaceful Preconception, Peaceful Pregnancy, Peaceful Postpartum, and the practices here can help us through any stage.
How to center ourselves
For some of us, it’s not the ‘being the mama’ part at all that challenges us.
It may be the ‘being a spouse’ part or ‘being a part of an extended family’ or finding ‘peace in my body’ that creates our greatest challenges.
The truth is when we are feeling resistance or conflict in any area of our life, the other areas feel it too.
So while we call this is called ‘peaceful mama,’ what we are talking about applies to any area of our life where we are experiencing challenge.
When we resist life, we separate, we isolate and this doesn’t help us in our fulfillment or growth or finding meaning. It stops it all.
We’re meant to feel whole, connected, and in harmony.
Others feel what we put out there. They feel when our walls our up.
Different experiences and interactions keep coming up in our life until we learn to lean into the discomfort, return to center, and grow ourselves through it.
So let’s start at the heart of it all, the Center. We talk a lot about being centered.
What does ‘Being Centered’ mean anyway?
Centeredness is two-part, both physical and psychological, and our level of centeredness affects EVERYTHING in our environment. It’s hard to be nonresistant and present to life if we’re not centered.
- Physically – We have a physical center of our body right below our navel, between our stomach and spine. It’s our center of gravity. Everything has a center. Think center of a wheel, eye of the storm. It’s an actual place.
- Psychologically – The center is a point where nothing is in conflict with anything else. It’s where harmony and balance occur. When two people are centered, there is calm, peace, and presence. It’s connection. It’s the place where we grow ourselves, it’s the Aha moment.
How do we become centered and access this place of calm, peace, and harmony within us?
There are four parts that include awareness, intention, practice, and compassion.
Awareness is the first step. Our natural pattern may be to react in the way we’ve always reacted to stuff coming up around us. With awareness, we create some space between what’s happening that is challenging or frustrating, or let’s be honest, down-right infuriating, and how we choose to respond. When we are more aware, bringing attention to where these feelings are coming up in our body, we can make a shift. With awareness, we can choose to breathe. We can choose to take a break, put our hand on our heart and have a moment of compassion. Anything other than push the feeling down or avoid it or resist it. This helps us let go of the baggage instead of holding on to it. This is awareness and it takes practice, but it’s accessible to all of us.
After awareness, we can move into intention, into how we desire to be. When we act from intention, we attract more of what we desire. All of our actions are measured from the intention from which they originate. Every action brings on an equal and opposite reaction. When we act in resentment, we bring on more feelings and situations that bring in that feeling. Awareness can help us get back to center and to our intention to more forward with nonresistance, acceptance, and even positivity – trusting that everything that is coming up has meaning and is growing us and evolving us into who we were made to be.
- Practice (MAMAHH Moments)
It takes practice to not become defensive or reactive. First, remember to breathe, then weave these small practices, what we call the MAMAHH moments, into your day to help you connect within so you may respond to what is going on around you with greater awareness, acceptance, and love.
- Movement is healing. We are meant to be moving our bodies and any moment of movement can improve the way we feel.
- Affirmation is being intentional with our thoughts and in alignment with our values so we may be as we truly desire to be.
- Mindfulness is being here now. Using our attention to become more aware and accepting of what is right now as you are experiencing it.
- Abundance is available to us in any moment. When we choose to be present, we can receive the gratitude and grace that is in each moment trusting that whatever we need is here and it is all for our highest good.
- Health is holistic. It’s the way we feel in our mind, body, and spirit. If we don’t have our health or our vitality, we don’t have anything else.
- Heart is boundless. Infinite love and guidance is within us and every other being, and all around and available to us. When we connect to compassion moment-by-moment, it moves us through hard times and leads to a more fulfilled way of being and connecting to those around us, especially our children.
Finally, remember to be kind to yourself and others. Guilt, blame, judgement only only moves us further from center. Know that we’ve all done the best we could up until this point with the tools and awareness we have. Practice self-compassion, treating yourself as you would a good friend.
Remember to keep moving your awareness to center.
We do so physically, by breathing into your center, the area right below your navel, between your stomach and spine. And psychologically by questioning what is coming up, the beliefs you are holding about the situations that are coming up.
- What am I making this mean?
- What does intention want me to do?
- What is the truth here?
Respond with love, kindness, and acceptance. Remember peace begins within and there is wholeness and harmony there.
Practicing this peaceful being helps us as we move through the different stages of our life.
Keeping up our relationships and creating a new normal is not easy after we bring children into our lives. It’s so easy to get lost in comparison, guilt, and overwhelm.
So keep returning to center, so you can be present and better enjoy the journey you are on. It’s as unique as you.
When we flow through our day in a more centered and connected way, our children feel it. our spouses feel it, and the energy shifts within ourselves and our home and this ripples out into our world.
Hold your intention to keep returning to the peace, wholeness, and harmony that is within—it’s your center.
Allow your practice of becoming more aware, returning to your intention, practicing MAMAHH moments, and choosing compassion to get you back to center—at any stage and with whatever is coming up for you.